Are you the type of person who frequently sets their sights high only to be left disappointed as you invariably end up settling for less? The more often situations end up like this the greater your dissatisfaction will be with yourself. It’s bad enough when this happens in, say, your working environment but if it is happening in your relationships it’s time for some evaluation. The good news is it is a relatively easy fix.
You need to begin making decisions based around your own ideals of what you desire in your dating and relationship world. When you begin setting the bar solely based on the outcomes you are expecting to achieve, as opposed to relying on someone else to act in a certain way, you’ll start feeling so much better about yourself. So whether you are already in a partnership or you regularly embark on missions to find a lover online, here are four ways to stop settling for less.
Don’t make excuses for others
You will certainly end up settling for less if you keep burying your head in the sand over someone else’s poor behavior. What you must never do is try and rationalize what someone else is doing, especially if it is having a detrimental effect on you. This could become especially serious when a partner has crossed the line with actions that could be termed as abusive. Under no circumstances is it ever permissable for a person to be verbally or physically aggressive, or to be demanding or intimidating when it comes to sexual matters. Simply acquiescing to this conduct means someone is getting away with being anti-social, a situation that is only going to be exacerbated if it continues unchecked. Perhaps the partner’s behavior is unintentionally negative rather than abusive, but the end result is the same. You are settling for less. The answer? Confront them directly and explain why you feel hurt.
Don’t make excuses for yourself
Another thing you must never do is shrug your shoulders and concede this is your lot in life; it must be something to do with your easygoing personality that seems to make it so easy for others to take advantage. This is a way of deferring responsibility, accepting it is somehow part of your make-up, or that what happens to you is governed by forces outwith your control. It’s not. Your destiny is very much in your hands so always act accordingly. It’s important not to let setbacks rule your outlook. Every time you strive to attain something but it doesn’t quite work out the way your wanted it to, draw a line under it. Start afresh next time.
Say what you want
Get into the habit of expressing your desires and aspirations, forcefully if need be. It may be a cliché, but you do actually only live once, so it’s up to you to make the most of the experience. Have the confidence to believe in yourself rather than being the perennial shrinking violet watching and regretting from the sidelines. The more you act in this way, the more you’ll find you never settle for less.
Admit what you don’t want
It’s not a crime to disappoint someone. If you continually agree to things you actually disagree with, this will gnaw away at you and will definitely lead to you settling for less. So be assertive when it comes to expressing an opinion, whether that’s something as mundane as a restaurant choice or some much deeper aspect of your relationship that has risen to the surface.